Many will tell you that things will get better with time, but I will not lie it gets better only for some. There are so many factors to consider and we are all different. I have had two marriage break up’s in 9 years, and it is only by the grace of God that I am still alive today. The odds are stacked against me…
Having young children does make you vulnerable. It grieves my heart to say this, but if only we could all look into the future I guess we might have done things differently. Now for me that would of meant not giving up my career to be a full time mum, something now I am unable to go back too, being all alone and penniless. I never dreamed 10+years ago that I would ever be where I am today, but sadly it’s a reality, terrible night mare I can never wake from.
Without God, and him intervening in some miraculous way, there really is no way out or light at the end of the tunnel for me. I did make some unwise choices after my former marriage was de solved, and perhaps it’s partly my fault. I might be called old fashioned but I have nothing but contempt for any man that can walk away from his responsibly to his wife and children.
It’s very hard, nasty and unnecessary for us to be forced into a life style not of our own choosing, where we have to do everything on our own. As lone parents we are forced to work twice as hard for half the income, we have to be both parents to the children left behind, and society does not appreciate us. I have grown resentful, and will avoid places and situations now where I will come into contact either with married women or couples.
Some people may criticize me for this, but I have done all the right things, taken every bodies advice (seen the movie, bought the T shirt… so the figure of speech goes,) and having to live a recluse works best for me. I have been a member of this group for quite some time, although I rarely post. I get the emails through my smart phone that is how I get to read.
One of the reasons that make it hard for me to post is that I get very upset and often disturbed by what I read. One thing given my situation, is I am sickened by reading about women; wives who have abandoned the family home and walked out on their husbands, when I feel that I would give anything! Anything! To be in a loving ‘boring everyday mundane’ family unit, with a husband who cared that I even existed. I suppose you could say that I have moved on in a way. I no longer miss my husband or think I love him.